Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Why can't people just leave me alone???

I swear to you that something weird always happens to me on my way to class, never fails!! Last night I'm walking to the URI building in downtown Providence when I see this drunk man actin' a fool. I'm debating to myself whether I should walk past him or change paths in order to avoid him. But no, something in my mind tells me don't be ignorant Crystal, just walk by the man and ignore him, he's probably harmless. HARMLESS MY ASS! So as I'm walking by this fool I hear:

"Psst....Dancer! Dancer!"

"Excuse me?" I turn around and say, now wanting to kick myself for not turning in the opposite direction which is what I should have done. So I look around to see what this drunken fool is talking about and I relaize that I'm standing right in front of The Sportman's Inn, which is a low budget gentleman's club.

So by this time the drunk/crazy man says, " Aren't you a dancer? Are you going in there?"

"NO!" I say, "Have you lost your mind?! Do I look like a damn stripper to you?!" By this time I am highly annoyed and about two seconds away from kicking this man's balls in, but i just roll my eyes and keep walking.

The fool is clearly embarassed by his lack of decency, manners and common sense that he continues to follow me.."Haha..I'm so sorry miss, I didn't mean to offend you. What was I thinking? I should have known a pretty girl like you couldn't be no dancer. Can I apologize??''

"You most certainly can...!" I say as I keep walking, by this time I'm about twenty feet ahead of this lowlife and still hear him tripping and stumbling over his words in the background, in a desperate attempt at taking his foot out of his mouth.

DAMN!!!!! Can I go one day in downtown providence without some loser coming along and f-ing my day up?? See what happens when you try not to judge a book by its cover?! You get harassed, and accused of being a stripper at that! Last time I checked nothing in my closet even resembled anything that some tacky stripper would wear, nevermind one from crusty little providence. Do yourself a favor ladies, next time you are walking alone and some raggedy looking fool is coming your way PLEASE walk in the opposite direction!

2 comments:

foxxxyboxxxy said...

this made me laugh so hard. hahaha. i should tell you a story that involves me waiting for a bus at 12 at night at kennedy plaza, and older hispanic man, a bracelet, and music and lemonade.

E-Rich said...

My girlfriend and her friend used to take walks at midnight and they almost always were propositioned by mem that thought they were prostitutes. I told her maybe she shouldn't walk outside at night and have big breasts at the same time.